Nailed!
by Ria del Lobo Violeta
Summary: The third and final installment is here! While cleaning out the castle, Yuri and Wolfram pass Conrad's office, where some really suspicious noises are coming inside from Conrad and Yosak. one-shot


New Year's had come to the Demon Kingdom. Fresh snow was on the ground, the morning air was crisp, and the Maou had declared that it was time to clean out the entire palace. Normally this would all be accomplished by the maids, but Yuri insisted that everyone participate, saying that it was family tradition back home on Earth. Wolfram was hesitant to even lift a finger and help, but when his fiancée threatened to keep the blonde out of his room as a New Year's resolution, Lord von Bielefeld finally gave in and set to work. Now he and Yuri were carrying a large wooden table down a hallway past Conrad's office, when Wolfram almost lost his grip on one of the legs, so the two boys decided to set the table down and rest for a few moments before continuing their long trek to the library.

**Yuri**: "While we're here, why don't we see if Conrad needs help with anything in his office?"

**Wolfram**: "What's the point in that? There's almost nothing in there worth cleaning."

**Yuri**: "Wolfram, that's mean! Besides, I'll bet there's lots of cool stuff in there, like souvenirs from foreign countries, medals of honor, family heirlooms, books on how to command armies, and all kinds of other things!"

Before the brunette king had a chance to knock on the door however, something slammed onto the floor with a loud 'thunk' from inside the room, and both boys heard Yosak's voice respond to the sudden noise.

**Yosak**: "That was a close call, but I don't know how much longer I can hold it up. And I don't think this is good for my back if you know what I mean."

**Conrad**: "Os a ill onge, Osak. I almo goh e."

**Yosak**: "You're gonna have to take that out of your mouth, Captain. I didn't catch a word you said."

**Conrad**: (removes said object) "I said just a little bit longer. I've almost got it."

**Yosak**: "That's what you've been saying for the past half hour. Why don't we switch positions? I do have more experience with this, you know."

**Conrad**: "All right; but be gentle, please."

(There's some fumbling and sounds of bodies moving. Yuri is torn between throwing up and running down the hallway in terror. Wolfram, aghast, is rooted to the spot, wondering what _exactly_ his older brother is doing inside his office.)

**Conrad**: (lets out a yelp and yells at his friend through clenched teeth) "Yosak, what are you doing?! I said to be gentle!"

**Yosak**: "What? I am being gentle. You're just too sensitive, that's all. Relax, Captain; you're in good hands."

**Conrad**: "How can I relax when you're being so rough?"

**Yosak**: "If you think this is rough, you should try doing it outside."

(Both men grunt and groan as a few thuds resound against the wall.)

**Yosak**: (panting) "Shinou, this is a tight fit. I knew I should've made your hole bigger."

**Conrad**: "Just keep going. I think it's almost in." (More banging noises ensue from inside.)

**Yosak**: "It's about . . . dang . . . time." (He says in rhythm with the banging.)

**Conrad**: "A little more . . . just a little more . . ."

Then Wolfram decides that his imagination has endured enough. He blasts through the front doors of Conrad's office, and begins yelling accusations at the top of his lungs.

**Wolfram**: "I will not stand for this kind of behavior, Conrart! It's perverted, disgusting, and—"

He actually takes a look inside his brother's quarters and sees Yosak standing on a chair nailing a framed map into the wall. Conrart is standing in the middle of the room with a hammer in his hand looking at the blonde in a perplexed manner. Yuri enters as his fiancé turns beet red and promptly marches right out into the hallway and keeps going.

**Yuri**: "Sorry about all that; I think he got the wrong idea about you guys."

Conrad simply smiles and Yosak has a wry smirk on his face.

**Yosak**: "What on earth could young Wolfram possibly think we were doing in here, Captain? I have no idea." (He says with obvious sarcasm in his voice.)

Conrad merely shakes his head and addresses his king.

**Conrad**: "I apologize if we also made you come to the same conclusion."

**Yuri**: "It's ok, but that's all you were doing in here, right? Just putting up this map?" (He lets out a nervous laugh.)

**Yosak**: "For now, your majesty . . . but we don't have to use our imaginations unlike little Wolfie."

Yuri's eyes grow large as he tries to form a coherent sentence, but Conrad immediately escorts him out of the room and helps him finally move the table.

The End

* * *

**Author's Note: Thank you, thank you! I hope you enjoyed the finale to our dirty little series, and don't worry--the dirt usually comes off in about 3-4 days . . . unless you want to keep it there. ; )**


End file.
